Cycle 44

A Birthday of Reflection

What follows is a stream of thoughts I jotted over the last couple of days leading up to my birthday:

What a strange time in my life.

I turn 44 as you read this, and yet not much has changed. I am still as much in love with music as I ever have been. I love making it, consuming it, and now even prompting it. I devote my life to teaching and further enlightenment, while trying to enjoy what escaped many of those who came from the same or similar circumstances I did. I have friends and family who are no longer here or in circumstances beyond their ability to control. I have a freedom and a peace today that I rarely have had throughout the entirety of my life. My current life at many times is extremely stressful, but overall VERY satisfying.

This year I started streaming 5 days a week for 5-8 hours a day. The reason of this was to recreate the sensation of being observed in my natural working state. Many times I’m muted and just playing music or space ambience in the background, but honestly, I feel so productive knowing there’s people watching me work. When I didn’t I slacked a bit more, now I stay on task knowing there’s others in their offices watching me sham off. I kind of need those eyes of accountability. Even as Captain. You can catch me here.

I still love stories. Someone on my discord asked me the other day what my favorite movies are. Asking this of a 22 year old me would have yielded wildly different answers than what I would say today, but some of those remain as well.

• The Princess Bride

• The Matrix

• Big Trouble in Little China

• The Goonies

But DUNE (2021) made it in. Over the last 20 years ONE movie made it into my top 5 list surpassing movies like Terminator 2 and Contact. Not that those movies don’t mean a lot to me, but time has allowed for further offerings to be considered. Sometimes I wish there was someone to watch these with. To discuss with. But, It’s ok though. I understand.

Speaking of teaching, I do love it. I didn’t realize how much I would, but I do. I could probably do that for the rest of my life as well. Shout out to my phonetic rhyme theory students. Hooah! I’m tough on them, but they always rise to the occasion and make me so very proud to be their Sifu. They work incredibly hard, and never cheat the craft.

At 44, I wonder now if I have more life behind me than in front of me. Will I ever finish the final three albums of the Type 4 Quadrilogy? Will I ever release the book associated with City on the Type of Forever? Will I ever make right the vinyl debacle of a few years ago?

Short answer.

Yes.

There will be a time in the NEAR future, where that will be my only focus. I have a lot of threads to close up with my music and so that will always be something I desire to finish. The vinyl issue will be solved at the beginning of next year as that legal battle comes to an end. The Type 4 book I stopped writing for 2 reasons.

1. I started writing another book “OBC”. This book consumed me.
2. I started my second company, Manifest Software. This is the company I devoted my entirety to outside of Majestic Comics and music.

So, when I do go back to those projects, they will be finished then. I don’t like leaving things unfinished so I anticipate going through a “completion” phase of uncompleted projects, this being among them.

Emotionally, I believe I have reached a type of equilibrium.

My traumas don’t define me as much, though they are still there. I battle them everyday, but 5 years of on going therapy has helped a ton. My anger at my origin circumstance has dissipated quite a bit, although, again it’s still there. I suppose no matter how much therapy and self work I attempt to do, there will always be flashes of the group home kid. I don’t really think about biological family and what could have been as I have a loving family that has effectively adopted me, and over the past few years I have felt the maternal and paternal love that I desired all those years ago. However, that group home kid will always be there. Living by the orphan’s code.

And yes, the group homes.

The system reared its ugly head this year. All the way from the past it again came to claim my sanity but I was ready this time. It was and still is one of the hardest things I have to deal with personally in my life but having the tools via therapy and familial support I had many more tools to fight with.

And finally, there’s business.

Or should I say businesses. The resource commitment to my two companies is demanding. Not only the monetary, but the proper executive attention resource as well. I have a dream, and this dream’s main diet is time and money. I have great business partners, I love the people I write with and we stay busy. Even though I work for myself, I work 6 days a week, 12 hours a day. I try to keep my mind sharp for as long as I can, so that in the end, I can just help people. Between Majestic and Manifest, I have found my purpose in the marketplace, and the products we have on both sides I can sell to ANYONE with a 30 second elevator pitch. I’m that confident in both outfits.

So, I write this for the future. For the potentially interested mind who wanted to know the state of mine as I got older and hopefully wiser. Maybe for a 66 year old version of me as time capsule of the journey that led to the eventuality of him. I’ll be long gone when they come across this in 2084 or whenever, however, hopefully, Grand Unified, Trans-Intellectualism, and Omnithology survives the ages. As THAT was the ultimate goal.

On his 44th Birthday,
Peace peace

Greydon Square
Majestic Comics | Manifest Software

If you wish to stay in touch, I have a discord server here (GU Discord Community)